Ali Wong on scars of the section and to bribe her children

& # 39; I was 23 when I found a stand-up. I was on an open mic at Brainwash Cafe in San Francisco, and I thought, "Oh, that's what a calling is." People talk about love, but then you finally feel it for the first time, and only then when you understand what the biggest thing is. That's how I feel about stand-up. I don't even see it as a work ethic – it's just passion. Since my first open mic – with the exception of my two C-sections, my honeymoon and shooting Always be me maybe—I went up at least three times a week, a maximum of nine times a week. I'm going to tour New York, Boston and Washington, DC soon, and then my plan is to head to Europe for the first time next summer.

It was like a boys' club when I first started, and inevitably, at the end of the night, someone would be drunk and try to hit me. I wanted to reduce the chances of this happening so that I would dress like a child. I wear this rainbow Adidas Originals vest with a hooded hoodie, cargo pants and colorful A6 or Adidas sneakers. I was all covered. And then I would wear my hair in two buns, like Chun-Li. After a while, I just feel like I'm cutting my hair down. I think it's because I became more confident about my craft and gained more respect in the community. Then I felt more secure as I did.

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Now I have to be comfortable, so it is important to wear flats. And when I work out material, sometimes I'll sit in an LA club or bar show with sweatpants. Women do seem glamorous when they wear heels, but it just doesn't work for me. I wear a checkered Vans floor and love to wear a skirt above the knee so I can move freely. It's interesting, now that I'm not pregnant because I don't want to wear anything super tight. I was more comfortable wearing those things when I was pregnant – you can just stick out your guts and this is your silhouette.

Before a show, I do my eyebrows. I can put my hair in a small top and I will do lighter on the top of my cheeks and under my eyebrows. Then I will pull lights. I've learned that about a quarter of your ear goes to the corner of your mouth – stopping when you hit the outer edge of your pupils. Then I apply the Marc Jacobs Eyeliner Gel Eye Crayon Blacquer on my upper and lower lids, which I learned from a makeup artist a year ago. Life Changing. I always liked the aesthetic of the sixties – so I think it looks really sultry and bold and beautiful. If I'm feeling extra fancy, I'll do a whole smoky thing with Beautycounter's Romantic Eyeshadow Palette. And then I wear Roman holiday Nars-lipstick. The whole thing takes five to ten minutes. Meanwhile, male comics have shit on their faces beforehand.

Women do seem glamorous when they wear heels, but it just doesn't work for me.

I wake up and wash my face with CeraVe Face Foaming Cleanser. If I was tied up in time, I would just wet Swissco Cottonpers from Costco with micellar water from Caudalie and wipe my face. Sometimes I put Tatcha Violet C Brightening Serum on my face and neck, but most of the time I just use my Dermalogica Skin Recovery SPF 50 sunscreen. I will also do a peeling once a week. I will use Caudalie Deep Cleansing Exfoliator and some kind of face mask. Andalou Organics has a pumpkin that I really like. My face feels so soft afterwards. At night, I use Beautycounter Cleansing Balm followed by the Tatcha Violet C Brightening Serum, Silk Cream and Silk Peony Eye Cream. My skin immediately absorbs the ice.

If I have time in the morning, I'll use the eyebrows with the Anastasia Brow Definer Medium brown. That's the first priority: I've done my hair and makeup so much over the years, and (makeup artists) always tell me it's eyebrows, mascara and then blush, in order of importance. I like the pencil because it is self-abrasive and greasy – it works less for me. And the brush on the other hand is forgiving. I used to raise my eyebrows earlier, but then they stopped growing. Now I pick them myself. If I have more time, I'll blush with a Beautycounter Illuminating Cream Highlighter stick that I really like, or Nars orgasm. It's so fast. You go & # 39; a tree, & # 39; tree tree & # 39; and then rub it with your fingers. I believe that your fingers are your best tool. With my finger under the eyebrow, I will do the light of the Anastasia Sun Dipped Glow Kit. For my lips, I like Nars sail. And then I also use this Tatcha Camellia Gold Spun Lip Balm. Look how cool it is! It has golden flakes. It makes me feel like Marie Antoinette, a wealthy lip balm. I wear it during the day and at night. I don't do mascara because my lashes smash against my glasses like wipers – they leave streaks.

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I wash my hair about once a week. If my hair gets really greasy by the end, I wear it in two braids. I give my daughters a very specific haircut that makes them look like Asian Amélie: cute, short ponies and then short behind. That's a lot of nineties Linda Evangelista. I paste a stack of raisins in front of them and they just eat and let my hair cut.

My sister had an accident in her twenties, and she had these scars from surgery, so I knew before my first C-section that I might be subjected to keloid and that the scars would be really intense. Every time I have a friend with a C-section, I'm always like, "I want to see your scar." Many times they say, & # 39; Oh my God, my scar is terrible, & # 39; but then when they see mine, they tell me how better they feel because mine is so intense … I was also in tune with young women saying things: & # 39; Wow! This is no joke. & # 39; But we always laugh about it and it makes me feel better. My second C section healed in the same way, and I just had to admit that I had no control, you know what I mean? And that's OK. I don't have the discipline to follow up with scars. I'm just trying to be grateful that I had two healthy daughters. The scar is much lower than you think – it's lower than a low back tattoo, but up front – so the only person who can really see it is me. I do yoga and hiking now, but when I could finally run three months after I was born the second time, I would run miles away in Stanley Park, Vancouver. That's when I felt like myself again. I loved it so much.

Every time I have a friend who has had a C-section, I always like: & # 39; I want to see your scar. & # 39;

I get pedicures at Q Salon. They are wonderful. I think they have no idea who I am – which is probably why I would like to go there. And they have an autoclave, which is very important to me in terms of sterilizing the instruments. for Always be me maybe I had to get my nails done every weekend, and we kept it white for consistency, and that's what I get. I feel like it is the most neutral color. I have to be careful, because when I get brown, my feet look like little puppets, you know? And it's not cute. & # 39;

– as told to ITG

Ali Wong photographed by Kate Berry in Los Angeles on October 30, 2019.

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