Welcome to Operation Goo Goo Gah Gah, a bi-weekly column by Ziwe Fumodoh where the comedian and writer tries everything under the sun in pursuit of baby smooth skin and makeup to complement it. There is no shortage of promising products out there, but what actually works? Ziwe is here to find out.
I've been on this beauty trip for some time and I haven't made a waiter, hostess or bartender mistake for Skai Jackson yet. I am not saying that the products I have tried so far have been ineffective, but that they are not giving me the results I want (read: & # 39; baby face) at the rate I want ( read: now). Nevertheless, I persevere. Because I'm not doing it for me. I do this for all middle-aged adults working with frown lines. Let’s take a look at the beauty products I love, which I hated and felt absolutely nothing because of the empty hole in my heart.
The sweet scent of chamomile and lavender softened me, but I would have to remove a rib to use this product as intended, which is like a massage oil. Unless you are incredibly flexible, you need the help of a lover or the sensual touch of an incredibly nurturing roommate who wants to massage your lower back. Unfortunately, I have a friend or foe to complete this therapeutic night ritual on the grounds that it is & # 39; too intimate & # 39; and & # 39; not nice & # 39; is not. So I save this deep sleeping oil for my future partner or a consenting task rabbit. Don't get me wrong, it's great. My only problem is that the romantic partner is sold separately.
This organic lipstick is so moisturizing. When I wear it, it feels like my lips are made of butter. Come to think of it … I can't believe it's not butter …
& # 39; A standard lighter that fits wherever you like to paint golden undertones on your body. Personally, I would like to apply marker fabrics to my collarbones to make them look more pronounced so that I can withstand any perceived threats. I learned this technique while reading National Geographic.
This long-sleeved mascara isn't waterproof, but it's proof that I still have long beautiful lashes like a camel. (See what I did there?)
Here lies a lipstick that is impeccably wrapped in a gold ornament. It makes me think of & # 39; n Charlie & # 39; s Angel weapon: something that looks like a lipstick, but can also be used as a cutting knife in a pinch. And once you've opened the lipstick, it's even more impressive. The actual shade is surrounded with the Hope Diamond (feel free to tell me about this!). It is so luxurious and couture that my only concern is that it will come up just to tell me I am a broken boy.
What are some products that you have packed perfectly in your makeup and skincare routine? Put in the comments below. See you next time!
– Seven Fumudoh
Photo via ITG.