Pets eat our sex toys and no one talks about it


I heard at a recent house-warming party a table of women, who casually complained about the frequency with which their domestic pets destroyed their sex toys. The tone was disturbingly nonchalant. & # 39; It can't really happen, & # 39; I thought. How wrong I was. Dogs and cats eat our sex toys every day, around the time. Just ask the internet.

On Twitter, search terms like "dog ate vibrator," "cat ate dildo," and "dog ate butt plug" produce literally thousands of results. & # 39; Holy shit, the dog ate the vibration of my roommate, & # 39; reads a Twitter message attached to a photo of orange silicone pieces next to a destroyed sex toy. & # 39; Another one contains a picture of a positively wrecked Lelo toy with a plea. & # 39; So, uhm, a dog ate my vibrator. @lelo_official I'm so sad because I just bought it & # 39; a month ago and really loved it. The guarantee won't cover that? & # 39; & # 39; Another user mourned: & # 39; NOT one of my cats got into my closet and chewed my favorite #vixskin dildo! I need a new mustang, otherwise I will die. "

On Reddit, there is the issue the gnawing $ 300 WeVibe, the story over the swallowed c * ck ring and this good boy looks very guilty. Of course there are Yahoo! Answer threads, different “ask a vet” forums and strange pet news stories find and play with adult toys while in nature.

In two days, twenty-two people have succeeded with stories of cursed sex toys destroyed by their animals. & # 39; My dog ​​J chewed and ate two (TWO!) Rabbits! These things are like $ 80- $ 100, ”actor and comedian Nicole Pasquale, written. Twitter user @TerriblyBland Remember, while on a three-day work trip, their cat turned on their Hitachi Magic Wand, knocked it on the carpet and nearly set their apartment on fire. & # 39; It was nice to touch. & # 39; After returning, she ran into a panic-stricken place when I turned it on. & # 39; Twitter user @AmberWaysOfPain tried to "puppy proof" her home, but "missed the toy box" she kept beside her bed. After waking up from an afternoon nap, she discovered a "butt plug" on the floor, as well as the puppy, and happily gnawed on the & # 39; # 39; a rubber dildo. & # 39;

One person requesting anonymity wrote me, & # 39; we came home to find bits of anal beads scattered across the apartment & # 39; with relief that their dog & # 39; did not touch the $ 300 moose flames. & # 39; & # 39; Another anonymous person emailed, "My cat left teeth in a leather floppy paddle, riding crop, sticks, the grips of my play bags, and he always thinks if I tie string, is it for him to cling. "

Toronto veterinarian Dr. Elizabeth Myers, who has worked and taught in pet hospitals and ER & # 39; s, thinks that 25% of the cases she has treated since 2003 are "in the sex toys area." by chewing cheaper toys, removing used condoms from the belly of a ferret and treating puppies with electrocution marks on their lips, caused by vibration.

veterinarian Dr. Elizabeth Myers estimates that 25% of cases she has dealt with since 2003 are "in the sex toys area."

According to Myers, these problems are compounded by owners who do not show up. ("I'm not the sex police, I don't care," she said.) But if veterinarians have to incite demanding owners about what their fur babies consumed, it wastes precious time to spend a pet's life ed. Dr. Myers brought sugar-free edible lingerie as an example of something she saw in the ER. (Yes, it's a thing.) When animals consume sugar-free briefs, their blood pressure can drop so low that seizures and death can occur.

Even in the veterinary community, Elizabeth noted that teaching about the use of sex toys & # 39; n & # 39; dark corner & # 39; of her industry. & # 39; We all love crazy stories, but sex and drugs seem to be the end. & # 39; & # 39; Another veterinarian I spoke to didn't want to & # 39; name but comment me: & # 39; My employers and affiliates may not find this to be a professional discussion. "

& # 39; A saleswoman shows new female sex toys, n

FRANCOIS GUILLOTGetty Images

I spoke with Katy Zolverin, the PR representative for sex toy provider Adam & Eve. Although she did not personally offer pet complaints, Zolverin suggested that clients place their toys in the site's patented & # 39;storage bags. ”Stu Nugent, a PR rep from Lelo, also offered a satin bag product. But they are not infallible. Nugent said Lelo receives & # 39; e-mail a week from pet owners and suspects that the "texture is really satisfying for cats to sharpen their claws." try not to pay too much attention to the situation ”after the dog ran away with a sex toy.

Veterinarian Ben Golas takes & # 39; one step further through & # 39; child locks & # 39; to recommend. He also calls on owners to accidentally train pets to destroy things that look like adult toys. & # 39; If we let dogs play with long rubber legs and chew, we can expect them to do the same for long rubber legs. & # 39;

Why is this happening and what can be done? While Dr. Myers recognizing the similarities between shape and texture of toys and pet toys for adults, she assured me that the biggest reason for our smell was. They love us, and love our scent, and as bad as our sex toys really smells like us. Of course, cleaning our toys and reaching them harder is recommended. But it is harder to do both of these things, especially in the heat of the moment.

There is of course also the non-scientific anecdotal revenge theory. In a few replies sent to me, many people felt that destroying dildos was an act of revenge – on the loud noises of the toy or on the owner. One person came in to tell me that their & # 39; $ 200 set bundle string & # 39; put through their thumbnail after being kicked out of their kink space because they were too noisy. & # 39; She always had a dramatic way to show her displeasure. & # 39;

Many people felt that destroying dildos was an act of revenge – on the loud noises of the toy or on the owner.

My jealousy tells Dr. Myers the story of a puppy brought by her husband and wife to her ER for vomiting. After the surgery, Myers presented the strange body to the couple: & # 39; a pair of belt lingerie. & # 39; The woman was like & # 39; it's not mine & # 39; and rushes out to let the man pay the operating bill. & # 39;

The moral of it all? Put away your sex toys after use … and maybe don't cheat on your wife.

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